He’s putting on a positive face because this is not the second grade we all imagined. He misses his friends but understands there’s a virus and we all have to do things a little differently for the good of our community. He got to talk to his teacher on Saturday over the phone and is excited that two of his best friends are also in his cohort so they get to Zoom together in class.
While all this talk of second grade may seem far off from our usual college and career planning topics, I’m writing today to talk about resiliency. I am learning so much from my eight-year-old this year and I want to share.
It would be really easy, and frankly understandable, for him to melt down in a puddle about not seeing his friends for six months and not getting to do all the things he loved to do this summer (swimming, water parks, vacations) but he really hasn’t complained too much.
He has shown incredible patience and when he does get sad he does his best to find something to help him bounce back - like when his yearbook arrived last week and he flipped through all the photos and said it made him happy and sad to remember all the good days when things were normal. Then he talked about the new things we’ve been able to do because we’ve been home so it’s ok that it’s not normal yet. He sat for a moment in his grief and then found a positive to focus on. I was all ready to comfort him and he bounced forward before I had the chance.
As you begin to settle into your school year – no matter what age - try and find the positives in each day. There will be hard days where you are giving up something you long for (homecoming, a dance, a performance or a game) and it’s ok to sit in your grief and feel what you feel. But you must also move on and find a positive.
We are all facing a school year that looks nothing like what we thought it would look like. And while we don’t have to be happy about it all the time we do have to move forward and make the best out of the circumstances presented to us.
Every day you have a choice in how you will face the day that has presented itself. You can choose to look at all the negatives and the things you are missing out on, or you can accept your grief, feel it deep inside and acknowledge the hard, and then choose to move forward in a positive frame of mind. This is resiliency and this is a powerful tool to help you overcome many things ahead of you.
My colleague Mary Joan wrote about the power of a positive attitude a couple weeks ago and it’s absolutely true. You get to choose how you feel each day and you can choose to look for the positives and you can choose to make the best of this odd and ever-changing year.
I know today is day one for us here and the afternoon of virtual learning hasn’t shown us our obstacles yet, but we will figure them out step-by-step and we will come out the other side stronger. And so will you.
Stay strong and have a great day at school!
Brittania - ICAN Hiawatha Center
